Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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