that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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