Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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