Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
