haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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