just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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