Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I look better un-naked...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
