I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was born a porn star she said
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
