Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm always down for nudity.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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