PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She announced her abortion via fbk
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
