I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
