I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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