Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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