Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Pooping to opera.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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