she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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