I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update