Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.

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  (614): just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society. http://tfl.nu/uah3
  Replies (31) Good night (1350) Bad night (3883) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too

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  (610): on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too http://tfl.nu/acnp
  Replies (6) Good night (512) Bad night (3916) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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  (573): I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/5d16
  Replies (31) Good night (1056) Bad night (3746) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.

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  (618): he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/b942
  Replies (12) Good night (5056) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.

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  (517): My own mom unfriended me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/a468
  Replies (68) Good night (3747) Bad night (11309) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends

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  (925): Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends http://tfl.nu/x0vc
  Replies (17) Good night (4659) Bad night (2091) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

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  (818): his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up http://tfl.nu/dywv
  Replies (13) Good night (997) Bad night (4725) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic

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  (708): Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic http://tfl.nu/vj27
  Replies (10) Good night (4539) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

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  (229): He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him. http://tfl.nu/c2pz
  Replies (12) Good night (6336) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.

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  (716): i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing. http://tfl.nu/i263
  Replies (10) Good night (3110) Bad night (748)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill

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  (631): i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill http://tfl.nu/bzs5
  Replies (9) Good night (2967) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.

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  (304): It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly. http://tfl.nu/eai2
  Replies (7) Good night (979) Bad night (2291) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?

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  (301): When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off? http://tfl.nu/hj8l
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Tis the season.

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  (309): I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring. (1-309): Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pjke
  Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I felt guilty, it was so good!

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.

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  (727): I felt guilty, it was so good! (1-727): Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/6lic
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt

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