Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.