Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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  (916): put your butt on the phone this is a booty call http://tfl.nu/3vuo
  Replies (25) Good night (3161) Bad night (832)
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  (510): View more from California

  my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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  (510): my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice http://tfl.nu/x5d6
  Replies (4) Good night (1950) Bad night (588)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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  (850): Did you dl zombie porn on my computer? http://tfl.nu/emjo
  Replies (11) Good night (1979) Bad night (3254)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.

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  (302): I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset. http://tfl.nu/ifc8
  Replies (13) Good night (5019) Bad night (971)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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  (401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw
  Replies (20) Good night (4524) Bad night (1288)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

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  (205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp
  Replies (34) Good night (5778) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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  (845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1325) Bad night (2932)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy

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  (650): Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy http://tfl.nu/o3ew
  Replies (8) Good night (1109) Bad night (2961)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss

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  (802): ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss http://tfl.nu/xu33
  Replies (10) Good night (2367) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

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  (218): We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/2b3c
  Replies (7) Good night (2069) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.

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  (785): Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock. (785): I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice. http://tfl.nu/kw5d
  Replies (9) Good night (1705) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.

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  (619): Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it. http://tfl.nu/xm8c
  Replies (8) Good night (2128) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And we're breaking up

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  (918): Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash. (918): And we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/t8m0
  Replies (9) Good night (607) Bad night (2134)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.

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  (812): I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least. http://tfl.nu/mb2n
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"

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  (813): Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one" http://tfl.nu/9qkk
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (350)

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