So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Rumble strips road head = magical
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory