Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
