We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating