I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.