Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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  (313): mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz http://tfl.nu/kyga
  Replies (21) Good night (613) Bad night (1765)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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  (253): Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs. http://tfl.nu/k3j3
  Replies (13) Good night (1400) Bad night (3568)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

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  (702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know. http://tfl.nu/ro3k
  Replies (68) Good night (9591) Bad night (1011)
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  (562): View more from California

  I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff

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  (562): I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff http://tfl.nu/dgtn
  Replies (12) Good night (1015) Bad night (3814)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.

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  (734): she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help. http://tfl.nu/iorj
  Replies (29) Good night (1494) Bad night (5158)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm full of awesome ideas

  (972): View more from Texas

  Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...

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  (214): I'm full of awesome ideas (972): Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs... http://tfl.nu/g4si
  Replies (20) Good night (4629) Bad night (1291)
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  (858): View more from California

  Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"

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  (858): Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS" http://tfl.nu/1s89
  Replies (35) Good night (4006) Bad night (1293)
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  (646): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there

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  (646): All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there http://tfl.nu/jsjn
  Replies (12) Good night (4274) Bad night (1503)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt

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  (413): i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt http://tfl.nu/1w7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1601) Bad night (684)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

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  (225): I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left. http://tfl.nu/d68g
  Replies (24) Good night (3561) Bad night (1490)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."

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  (603): Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner." http://tfl.nu/q4fy
  Replies (16) Good night (2722) Bad night (610)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.

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  (781): Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants. http://tfl.nu/zvak
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (386)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES

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  (262): PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES http://tfl.nu/1xjy
  Replies (6) Good night (1162) Bad night (449)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College

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  (814): I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College http://tfl.nu/y7mj
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (284)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.

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  (252): It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/axbx
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (262)

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