I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
