I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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