You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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