I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
