bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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