We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
