You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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