it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
