Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
