after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
