You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I am morally bankrupt
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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