it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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