Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
