Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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