Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
