Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My balls are so social today.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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