You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
