I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
