Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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