I puked a lego.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Found your dick twin last night
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
