if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
