...so i touched it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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