I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This baby is an asshole
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
