Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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