I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish i was in the wii world.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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