I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
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Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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