Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
