That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
