well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Vodka?
Forever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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