don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
