In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
