we have officially lost it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
