all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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