absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
