Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
