don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
