idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
