Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
