i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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