So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
