i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We are two peas in an std pod
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
