Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
