I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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